Empty, that’s how I feel… A Dutch reporter from a major newspaper asked me how I felt, this ofcourse for his article he was writing about me.

I gave him the standard answers, you know, tired, upset, holding on, things like that. Now, after some time I realized that I am feeling none of that, the truth is that all of my feelings are gone. I think I am operating in some sort of robotic mode for the last 2 years.

Dont get me wrong, I am still fully in the fight and never give up untill I will get my so neaded Deep Brain Stimulation – but just know, two weeks after the reporter asked me how I felt, it struck me, I dont feel anything anymore.

I am just a robot, in “getting my Deep Brain Stimulation” modus……

For that matter, the latest update described in the Dutch newspaper article is that my new health insurer also refused to finance the surgery, although they held the conversation open, and gave me the right to a so called second opinion… I tried to explain to the healtinsurer that a second opinion is kind of hard to get at a point where you have been seen by literally every neurology Professor in the Netherlands who matters… In real numbers it would then also become a 27 th opinion… but hey, do they care, and hey, do I care?

An American neurologist gave his opinion, an Australian neurologist gave his opinion, 27 Dutch docters gave their opinion, and even an old Japanes friend spend his weekend driving up and down to a Japanese neurologist / neurosurgeon, to ask for his opinion. ( Thanks so much Hiroshi, you are a
great friend).

But never the less, my health Insurance claims for a second opinion, so I will provide them with a second opion.

And every one thinking the European problem is caused by Greece...

After first written a complete page in this blog about again.....how
sad I was, how unfair it all was...I decided to press the delete button,
and now start over at the beginning of this blog, and tell you how my
life is gonna look like after getting my healt back again, ofcourse
after a good surgery...

Here it comes...:) :) ( and I just cant wait to get started with it all)

First of all I will move to Peru, to be together with my so wonderful girlfriend!

Like they phrase goes..., after every great man goes a great
woman...well...I cant call myself a great man, :)) however that my
girlfriend is a great woman, thats a fact!!

She has been supporting me so much, loving me, and most of all, she
believed in me, all the way! So we decided to live together in Peru,
also we are planning a weddingdate :))

Further we are gonna raise a family and be very happy together!

What do I wanna do more; well first of all there are so many great
and super interesting books i wanna be reading! It is kind of funny, all
of my friends continuously asking if I am looking out to go surfing
again...

Looking forward the most is reading ( since I havent been able to sit
still for more then 5 minutes lenght the last 9 years) and then
ofcourse, have great conversations with friends and new family! Surfing
was great, but lots of other great things in life.....

Haha, and well, I guess I still have some genes of my fathers in me,
so I guess that after my first goal of wanna walk lots of Inka trails,
slowly wanna start running again, slowly wanna run a marathon, slowly
wanna run two marathons, slowly wanna run a marathon starting first with
a little 3,8 kom swim......well, we will see where that goes :)) :))

The mainthing however is that me and Gina, just want to be happy, lead a normal and nice and love filled life! Thats all :))

Today I am traveling to accept the keys for my new house, in a new town,
starting out new!

Its has been a year ago, exactly by the day, that I
left my previous house on a somewhat weird way. Living in a small
backward town, situated on an little Island in the northsea, my life
had been coming to a dead stop ever since my tourettes and epilepsy became worse!

Local doctors feeding me the brainkilling poison called Haldol. Most of
the population looking as if I was a lune, and my family left,
trying the hardest to cool the other way! One time even giving me a ten
rudes ticket to the local sunbed saloon, if i would get a new tan, the
tourette would get better ivernigjt she told me!  It was clear to me,
this town and people werent ready to hear and accept the word
tourettes.

Meanwhile getting sicker and sicker and knowing I wasnt get
any help I decided it was time for action!

I wrote a letter to my
tendant to give my two weeks notice for my house rent, I ordered a big
dump truck and dumped all of my inventory at the locale dumpyard. I
packed my most personal stuff, limiteren to the size of two big
traveling bags, and off I went, of to travel to go seek and find a cure
for my tourettes. I didnt have a clue where to go but in the back if my
mind i knew this was necesserry if i ever wanted my life back.

Now Ive started that journey.